


secrets

by oh_jeez_dude



Series: doctor who stuff lol [2]
Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who (1963), Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Angst and Drama, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst and Romance, Asexual Doctor (Doctor Who), Classic Doctor Who References, Classic Who Companions Are Awesome, Doctor Who 50th Anniversary, Fluff and Mush, Gen, Heavy Angst, M/M, Nonbinary Doctor (Doctor Who), Nonbinary eleventh doctor, One Shot, Other, Pan/Biromantic Doctor (Doctor Who), Psychic Abilities, Rare Characters, Rare Pairings, Sad, Sad Doctor (Doctor Who), Sad Ending, Short, Short One Shot, Telepathy, The Doctor (Doctor Who) Needs a Hug
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-29
Updated: 2020-09-29
Packaged: 2021-03-08 02:26:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,177
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26668174
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/oh_jeez_dude/pseuds/oh_jeez_dude
Summary: “you’re lying.” the doctor deadpanned, clearly unimpressed, their arms crossed.“no, why would i be? i’m not lying, what makes you think i’m lying?” a nervous chortle spilled from clara’s lips, she mentally kicked herself for it. "your using your terrible poker face," the doctor pointed out, an eyebrow cocked.when clara hangs back at UNIT and explores the black archive some more she’d never expected what she’d find...
Relationships: Eleventh Doctor & Clara Oswin Oswald, Eleventh Doctor/Ben Jackson, The Doctor & Ben Jackson
Series: doctor who stuff lol [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1956910
Kudos: 5





	secrets

**Author's Note:**

> honestly, suggest you'd kinda ignore the tags lol, and as always love the feedback.
> 
> as a side note, i'm pleasantly surprised the "eleventh doctor/ben jackson" relationship tag is technically a tag??? i always shipped ben (i like to refer to him as jackson) with the later versions of the doctor. might write a sequel to this...hmm...

* * *

the doctors (ten and war) had left the room, exhausted from the day's events. before they left, eleven spared a glance at clara. "you coming, clara?" the short brunette looked at her friend, and nodded.

"uh, yeah. i want to explore a bit of UNIT. i'll catch up with you in a bit." she replied, expressing genuine curiosity. she honestly did want to explore the place that saves the world on a daily basis. it was pretty amazing, if she wasn't working as a teacher, she'd love to work here, maybe on the battlefield...stopping alien threats firsthand--cutting the doctor's work for them. but she can only dream. "oh right, i'm always one for interest. i'll wait for you then, don't wander off too far. if something happens, send me a telepathic signal.'' clara rolled her eyes, good heartedly. the doctor was such a pile of nerves sometimes, but she knew she felt the same for them. so it was a given in it's own right. "oh, i'll be fine, doctor. i'll see you in a bit, yeah?" she called to them as she started walking off, to which the doctor called back with a "yeah!" and left to say goodbye to their former selves. 

clara's bright chocolate eyes widened with wonder, as she looked about the hallways of UNIT. aliens she'd only heard of from the doctor, like the sontaran, ood, the morax, all sat in windowed cells, being examined on. it was...something. it was _that_ earth shattering, she couldn't put into words and could only sum it up in a _single and otherwise_ _single sentence!_ she wandered about some more, until she neared another hallway, turning left, her eyes landed on an open door. 

the room held _the black archive, one of the most dangerous rooms in UNIT._ they had gone so far as to erase the memories of the main staff that worked within it. even though, clara had already been in that room, and _knew_ the consequences of being in there would entail... _although_ _on other the hand_ , risks followed her wherever she went. and maybe things won't go terribly if she stayed in there for at least, 2 or 3 minutes? 

' _yeah, that'd be a good idea, no harm in that..._ ' clara thinks, as she gingerly nears the doorway, her voice of reason argued within her mind. ' _the doctor wouldn't like this, you shouldn't go in there.'_ but, clara never was a stickler for the rules. she headed into the room, deadly alien weapons and tech were stored about--things that should never be touched. what caught her eye was a pristine file cabinet in the corner, amongst the tech and weapons. she went over and examined it.

the cabinet's drawers were labelled by the doctor's past, fatal weapons and alien tech, vague information on the time war, the war games--you name it. her gaze travelled down to the third drawer, titled: _companions._ _she always wanted to know about the others before her._ clara pulled out the file box (it was sorted by A-Z), she skimmed the files, the names hazily familiar. that is until a specific name and (a rather attractive) face captured her attention. 

_**ben jackson,**_ the doctor always spoke fondly of him...more so than that rose tyler woman. ' _must be pretty important if the doctor talks about him more than rose...'_ clara thinks as she starts to read the file.

' _ben jackson: sex: male, aged: 22, former occupation: a sailor in the navy. ben, or 'jackson' as he's referred to, has traveled with the doctor for 2 years during their first and second incarnations, and once returning to his proper time period (which was the late sixties), a year later--traveled with the doctor's future incarnations 10 and 11 for 9 years, before leaving in early 2013. during those 9 years, he and the doctor had grown close, implying a romantic relationship, or as the doctor says, an attraction. but if the closeness of their body language and overall accord was anything to go by, it was definitely not an interest. upon leaving in early 2013, the information we've gathered was vague but enough to form a cohesive narrative. he had left due the recent deaths of the doctor's secondary companions, the married couple: amy and rory pond. jackson had tried his best to comfort the doctor during their grieving period, but ultimately left due to the doctor's cold and angered demeanor. he now resides in an apartment in london, 1969, with former traveling companion polly wright.'_

clara struggled on how to feel or think, upon learning this. UNIT has been erasing the memories of the doctor’s companions. she couldn’t believe it. it was especially saddening to think of. they wiped the memory of the man, the doctor secretly loved. and they didn’t even _know_. a chill went down clara’s spine as she read the other files, she should really _go_ and meet up with the doctor. but curiosity held her back. _it always has._

“ _clara?_ what’re you **_doing?_** ” the doctor’s usual soft voice, cold and piercing. clara whipped around to face the doctor, while discreetly hiding the files from the doctor’s sight. 

“hmm? nothing!” clara lied, her anxious expression masked with a relaxed one. she hoped the doctor wouldn’t read her mind, as she smartly raised her mental shields, it was strong enough for them not to penetrate her mind. 

“you’re lying.” the doctor deadpanned, clearly unimpressed, their arms crossed.

“no, why would i be? i’m not lying, what makes you think i’m lying?” a nervous chortle spilled from clara’s lips, she mentally kicked herself for it.

"you're using your terrible poker face," the doctor pointed out, an eyebrow cocked. clara sighed, there was no point in hiding something this trivial from them. she stepped aside, revealing the files. the doctor went over, an anxious look on their face. they didn't like where this was going. the doctor read the files, spread about the table. _ian and barbara, polly, victoria, jamie, sarah jane, adric, tegan and nyssa, turlough_ \---their eyes landed on the last one, their expression contorting into a chilled shock. 

_**the final document was on jackson.** _

they read the case at a rapid pace, their emerald eyes brimming with a grim, longing pain. ' _how long has UNIT been doing this for? without me knowing?_ ' the doctor thinks, distraughtly. they masked their expression with a blank look, they then stored the files back to where it was, the doctor motioned to a saddened clara. " _let's go_." the doctor spoke, almost icily. it sounded like an order. clara hesitantly followed, the two making their way to the TARDIS. as they passed by UNIT agents, they all could feel the _ **cold anger** _radiating from the doctor. the workers could only guess what had happened.

clara and the doctor stepped inside of the TARDIS. as clara hugged the doctor tightly, "i'm sorry, doctor. you must've loved him." 

the doctor returned the hug, there was a beat of silence, before they spoke. 

_"i did. i really did."_

* * *

**Author's Note:**

> this consists of:
> 
> clara: were you romantically involved with any with of your male companions??
> 
> the doc: ???
> 
> clara: alright, keep your secrets.


End file.
